What’s the Deal with Coldplay?
- My Little Underground
- Jul 4
- 6 min read
No band bewilders me more than Coldplay. Maybe Weezer, but I’ve come to accept that Rivers Cuomo just gets off on disappointing us all with his bizarre attempts at pop and dance music. Remember The Black Album? I wish I didn’t. But Coldplay confuses me in a different way. I never loved Coldplay, I never went through a Coldplay phase, never changed my guitar tuning because they did (I started playing a half-step down partially because of Weezer), and I definitely never bonded with my friends over Coldplay. But I can’t fully ignore them. They’re like a scab I just want to pick until it bleeds.
They got famous with “Yellow” in 2000, a song that could easily have come out in 1994. It had that weird mix of being heartfelt but also kind of silly at the same time, a quirky pop ballad that worked even though it probably shouldn’t have. Go back and listen to it; the way he keeps singing “it was all yellow,” with this stupid, country-esque drawl behind it is so ridiculous.
When it was on the radio I laughed at it, but now I almost like it. There’s something kind of charming about it. They’re not taking themselves too seriously. The music is simple, but it’s not offensive. And the production, it’s almost lo-fi compared to what Coldplay would become. The video especially screams “indie.” It’s just Chris Martin walking along the beach on a cloudy day, before he grew into a man who looks the part of a celebrity, when he was still just a lanky kid. It’s nothing. Young, goofy-looking Martin in a raincoat on the beach, his hair all fucked up like he just walked out of the ocean. But that’s why it all works. That’s why I remember it. Why it’s probably still on the radio (I wouldn’t know, I don’t listen to it).
At that moment, they still had a chance to be something kind of cool. I mean, they were on the Garden State soundtrack, right alongside indie royalty like The Shins and Iron and Wine covering The Postal Service. And they didn’t stick out. “Don’t Panic” is a good tune; it’s short, it’s sweet, it’s catchy, but it makes you feel something too. I’ve jokingly referred to 2000s Coldplay as Diet Radiohead (maybe I heard someone say this), but with their first LP they had the chance to become something else. They had the chance to become quirky, indie U2, and that’s something I wouldn’t hate, cause regular U2 kind of sucks. Listen to the guitar playing on Parachutes. That dude fucking loves the Edge. Loves him! But then the money and attention came along, and they started wearing blazers and using piano in every song.
Their next two albums, A Rush of Blood to the Head and X & Y aren’t bad by any means, but it’s where the Diet Radiohead joke comes from. “The Scientist,” “Clocks,” “Fix You,” “Talk,” “Speed of Sound,” even the lesser-known tracks like “Politik,” “God Put a Smile on Your Face,” and “Twisted Logic” all drip with it, with that Diet Radiohead thing. There are cool things happening. Some of it gets a little dark, a little moody. Martin dips in and out of his falsetto just like a certain Thom we all know and love. And there’s no lack of delay and reverb. They’re not bad listens. When the pre-chorus of “Speed of Sound” hits while I’m driving in my car, you know I’m reaching for the height of my register and belting out, “All that noise and all that sound!”
But there are two things wrong with these records. Often, the band sounds too “on the grid” and by that I mean, too in step with the click. Listen to the drums in “Speed of Sound,” they’re boring as hell. Listen to the bass and drums in “Clocks” (ok, fine I know it’s called clocks, but still). The whole track I’m begging for some variance; mix it up, drag a stick, play a bass fill, do something!
I saw an interview of the band when they were promoting Viva la Vida and Martin said something along the lines of, “We would hear stories about kids getting teased at school for liking Coldplay.” He goes on to say that with all their success, the only thing left for them to do was to get better. So, they took some trips to Mexico and Spain, hired Brian Eno as their producer, and they did it. They got better.
This is what I said about Viva la Vida in my review of Coldplay’s eighth album Everyday Life, “Typically, I consider Coldplay a guilty pleasure. Songs like ‘Don’t Panic’ and ‘Speed of Sound’ get stuck in my head for days but always with a tinge of shame. I don’t know what it is, but I choose to call it punk-guilt; and just like Catholic-guilt, it’s a powerful thing! The only Coldplay album I will lovingly defend is the Brian Eno produced Viva la Vida (and the Eno part gives me some cred). Coldplay made a real effort to grow as a band on that album. They explore new sounds and rhythms, and the songs possess more depth.”
I still stand by all of that. Go listen to “Violet Hill,” the solo is killer. Who would have ever thought I could describe a Coldplay guitar solo as “killer” and without an ounce of sarcasm? But it didn’t last. They followed Viva la Vida up with Mylo Xyloto, and though Eno apparently had some hand in this as well, it is not made obvious by the nausea-inducing EDM that makes up this record. This album is essentially the death knell for whatever Coldplay could potentially have been. Clean, corporate, shiny, boom-bap, dance bullshit with half the lyrics being, “Ohhhhhhh!”
From here we get Ghost Stories, which is apparently about his divorce or something but he’s still like, “I gotta drum machine and I’m gonna dance about it.” Then we get the obnoxious Headful of Dreams, more EDM crap; now he’s really gonna dance about it! It seemed like the dude was having a midlife crisis in front of the whole world. And I’m sorry if I’m teasing Martin a bit, he seems like a decent enough guy and I like some of his tunes, but I hate this album.
But then, speaking of Martin seeming like a decent enough guy, Coldplay puts out the double LP Everyday Life. Now, I hate double LPs. Even The Beatles couldn’t pull it off, so no one else should try. Despite being too long and having the ridiculous song, “Daddy” (the title itself as bad as the song), this album has some genuinely cool moments such as the horn-laden “Arabesque.” In my review of the album, I discuss how the band jumps back and forth between “lo-fi ditties and huge pop productions.” I go on to lament Coldplay not being brave enough to “eschew the big pop bangers and ballads for an entire album.” And that’s really what this essay is about. I just wish Coldplay would be a bit braver. This is how they differ from Weezer too; Cuomo is maybe too brave. I wish he cared more about what we thought!
From Everyday Life, Coldplay retreats back into their neon-glazed world of EDM and pop guest stars, with Music of the Spheres (really, what the fuck?) and Moon Music; Chris Martin pumping his fist into the 2020s and probably well beyond.
I spent the last two weeks listening to Coldplay on my drives home from work. The first week I was revisiting the classic stuff, but this past week I listened to the newer albums. The change Coldplay underwent from the 2000s into the 2010s and 2020s, gives me the impression of a band without an identity. As if they were just trying on different genres and vibes to see what would stick. But I’m starting to think that’s no longer true. I think the sad news is that they’ve found their identity. They found it in 2011 with Mylo Xyloto. I thought the past decade and a half (save for most of Everyday Life) was a departure from their sound, a misstep brought on by the pressures of fame and greedy music executives, but I’m not sure that’s the case.
I think Coldplay are a pop act; they're no longer a band. I don’t think they’ve been a band since Viva la Vida. Even though Everyday Life has some cool moments, it’s very much a studio album, riddled with guest starts and novel arrangements. Sure, Viva la Vida is very much a studio album too, the famed title track is performed by a fucking orchestra or something, but it still felt like a band came together and made that record; everything since has not.
Coldplay’s last record came out in 2024, so we’re probably due for some new music soon. I would say I’m curious to see what they come up with, but I think the die was cast over a decade ago. We’re never going “back to the start,” we’re going to pump our fists to a generic beat, and I don’t know, Sabrina Carpenter or The Rock or someone is going to pop in for a verse or two. Oh, and I bet one of the tracks is titled with an emoji (they did it on the last two).
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