This is how you remind me that your taste in music sucks! You artsnobs with your Collectives of Animals and your Phoebe Bridge, what the hell do you even know about Canadian ROCK? Nickelback blesses us with chart-topping, emotionally charged songs that still manage to rock harder than hard, and you have the nerve to scoff at them? They sold over 50 million albums. How can 50 million people be wrong? I bet you only listen to what the Pitchforks and Needle Drops tell you to listen to. I don't even know what a Perfume Genius is but I'm more than happy to be left Perfume Ignorant. Just give me an ice-cold Molson and the best adult-contemporary alt-rock Canada has to offer and I'm happy. "How You Remind Me," "Photograph," "Someday," "Rockstar," Nickelback has given us so many hits you'd think they'd have been arrested for assault. But I'm never pressing charges. The only thing I'm pressing, is the play button on my Ford -150's CD player.
So, next time you're at the grocery store buying your keenwah or cumboocha or whatever, take those grubby little pods out of your ears and listen to the Nickelback being played on the store's sound system. If it isn't playing Nickelback, just wait a few minutes, it will. Then maybe you'll finally understand what you've been missing.
Happy April 1st!